The 15 most important questions a man needs to ask himself and find the answer to in his life

As men we sometimes believe we are meant to have have everything figured out, that we are somehow immune to not having the answer.

The truth is, we don’t have the answers to a lot of questions.

The problem is that most men, don’t try and find the answer, or even ask the questions.

Whichever it is, this article is meant to help you start asking the right questions, and to find the answers if they need finding out.

I asked about 50 or 60 men what they thought were the most important questions to ask as a man. The answers were very thought provoking and it allowed me to see that men, are very deep and hungry for the same kind of answers.

It was very cool to witness.

I plan on sharing the 15 most important questions with you in this article, but first, I want to talk about the questions that you shouldn’t be asking yourself, because they aren’t important, or they keep you distracted from what you really need to be focusing on to be the most confident and complete man you can be.

Or as Dr. Robert Glover says, to be the Integrated Male

what are the wrong questions to be asking?

There is so much garbage on the inter-webs, that prey on men’s fear, weakness, and insecurities. In fact, most of them are wildly popular and although there may be a few good nuggets of information mixed in. The majority of it is aimed at making you look like a chump.

The goal is simply to make you feel insecure, take your money, and not really help you out.

Two of the biggest scams on this are for men who want to have success at relationships and attracting women. I know, because I bough into it too. In fact, when I was 19, I bought an entire course on how to become more confident and cocky with the ladies. Like I said, there was some good information but, there was a lot of fluff and garbage.

After reading all the material in the course and doing what it said, I didn’t do so well. In fact, I didn’t have much success at all, until I realized two things.

  • I was asking myself the wrong questions

  • I was focusing on myself and what I could get

The truth was, I didn’t need a course to help me get a relationship, and I didn’t need the advice of a guy who had been with hundreds of women. I didn’t want to be with hundreds of women, I wanted to be with one woman who I loved.

So I began asking myself the right questions, and not the wrong ones.

Questions you shouldn’t be asking yourself

  • How can I get laid tonight and pick up the hottest girl?

  • What can I say or do to control this situation in my favor?

  • What can I say to this person to manipulate them to get what I want?

  • How can I make this person feel inferior and guilty?

  • How can I get rich quick?

  • How can I get away with cheating on my wife?

  • How can I get away from my family to go hang out with the guys?

  • How can I get others to like me?

  • What if I fail?

  • Why me? Why is this happening to me?

  • How can I get people to pay attention to me?

  • Will this car, outfit, house, gadget make people jealous and make me look cool?

  • What can I say or post on social media that will get people to “like” my post and follow me?

  • How can I get away with this?

  • What lie can I tell to others to make them believe me?

These are just a few of the very shallow and immature questions that a man might ask himself. Although we may at times ask ourselves these questions, they reveal our insecurities, and a deep seated need for belonging and identity.

Unfortunately we won’t find our identity in things that don’t matter, and we certainly won’t find our value from the things that this culture has to offer.

Instead, I urge you to follow the beat of a different drum. Explore things that make you more of a man, not stuff that only puts on a front for the uncomfortable thought of being exposed. See, that’s the problem. Men try to hide from the world for fear of being “Found Out”.

The reality is, it’s OK to be found out. There really isn’t anything about being found out, and in letting yourself be that person you can finally find freedom from that shame.

Trust me. That was me for a long time. I didn’t want to be found out. I didn;’t want people to know who I really was. I was afraid that people wouldn’t like me or something. I don’t know if it was immaturity or fear. Either way, I don’t care anymore.

I don’t walk around trying to hide in the shadows, and I’m not afraid of who I really am.

This is exactly where I want you to be.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself.

Questions that every man should ask himself

Before I wrote this article, I polled about 50 men to see what they had to say. I asked them a simple question.

What are the questions that you think every man should ask himself in his life?

The responses flooded in pretty fast, and most of them happened to all ask the same questions, which is pretty cool. Granted, these men are all successful by cultural standards. They either own businesses , have degrees, or have worked their way up in the companies that they work for.

However, it really doesn’t matter about status or how much you have. If you are man that wants to get better in his life, then these are the questions you need to be asking:

  • What is the greatest benefit that I can provide to those in my immediate circle? How do I grow that circle?

  • Am I worth marrying, am I worth being married too?

  • When was the last time that I did something for the first time?

  • When did I last do something I truly didn’t want to do, endure, or overcome?

  • How can I help someone today, big or small?

  • What does today have to offer and how am I going to use it for God’s glory?

  • How can I help my children grow into Godly individuals?

  • How can I use today’s trials and make them positive?

  • How can I best connect my potential and skill-set with my purpose (mission)? Today? Tomorrow? This year?

  • What are the weaknesses I have? How are they meant to inspire or change me?

  • How can I show my wife I appreciate and love her today?

  • What are my priorities? Are they benefiting me and my relationships? My quality of life?

  • Am I moving towards freedom or away from it?

  • Am I creating financial freedom for myself and those around me?

  • If something was to happen to me, will my wife and kids be OK financially?

Bonus

  • Am I leaving a legacy for my children, a great example to follow?

  • Do I have any undesirable thoughts or actions creeping into my marriage, life, relationships?

There may be more questions than this that a man needs to be asking, but these are the ones that were determined from a multitude of different sources.

If there is a question that you think should be added to this list, let me know in the comments below.

###Stephen