If you want to be the man you were made to be, you can't be a victim

Men of Iron

Don’t be a victim.

What do I mean…victim?

First of all, what is a victim, and how does a man play the victim?

The definition of a victim according to Urban Dictionary is:

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  1. Someone who has encountered Chuck Norris (Ha-ha, had to chuckle at this one)
  2. Anyone involved in a unfortunate situation such as ridicule, injury, death, taken advantage of etc.

As much as I love the first definition, I think we are going to stick with the second.

A man PLAYS the victim, by putting themselves in a situation where they are oppressed or taken advantage of. They do this because someone is out to get them, they just aren’t as good as someone else, or they just have the cards stacked against them.

One of the things that I constantly encourage men to do is to wake up early and exercise. This is nothing new, it is a theme that is reflected in everything that I write or produce. The reason that I tell men this is because it will help them in all areas of their life.

One of the things that I always hear men say is, “I need to get back to a workout routine. I just don’t have” I can’t tell you how many times I hear this.

So, what do you think that I tell them? Yep, you guessed it. Wake up early and exercise. Your family won’t even miss you.

There are two excuses that I always get:

  1. That is way too early
  2. I wasn’t in the Navy like you, I can’t do that

I always find it interesting. 

You know that you need to work out, but you say you don’t have time? When someone offers a solution for you that doesn’t cut into your family time, and will help you physically and mentally. You turn it down.

Hmmmmm….me thinks that this is not a time issue.

This is a victim issue. You are choosing that for yourself.

Or how about this one.

I just can’t seem to get ahead at work, no matter what I do, I am getting passed up for promotions. I think they are just out to get me.

It is possibly your company’s inner workings are skewed (and most corporations have these issues) but,

  1. Are you showing up to work on time? (you would be surprised how bad this is)
  2. Are you offering solutions to problems, or just complaining about them?
  3. Are you thinking of ways to improve your job?
  4. Do you have a positive attitude and treat everyone with respect?

These are just a few small things that have a huge impact. Most people don't like to be around other people that complain. It's draining, and more so if their work ethic is poor.

If this is you, it might be time for a little self-reflection and course correction.

Attitude is everything, and so is where you are trying to find fulfillment from.

  • You won’t find it in stuff
  • You won’t find it in money
  • You won’t find it in women
  • You won’t find it in alcohol
  • You won’t find it from your career

When we try to do too much, or focus on attaining something, everything else falls apart. This results in a crash course where we can play the victim.


How to avoid being a victim

The best way to avoid being a victim is to not be one.

If something in your life is causing you to blame others, or is preventing you from being your best then you need to tackle it head on.

Confront it.

Deal with it.

Most likely the problem is with yourself.

Epictetus, a Greek Stoic Philosopher is quoted as saying "Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them."

  • If you are having money problems, then take a look at how you are using it. Where is it going? Where is it coming from? Is it time to pay off your debt?
  • If you are spending a lot of time at work and not enough time with your family, then you should probably re-prioritize.
  • If you are 30 pounds overweight and eat garbage and are upset because you can't lose weight. Stop eating garbage, and start an exercise program.

You are a man, start acting like it

Start taking ownership.

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If you don't like something in your life, then change it. Work on making it better. Don't sit on the sidelines and be passive. 

Problems typically don't get smaller or go away. They fester, and get worse.

Bad stuff happens. Life is not fair.(Whatever that means)

  • If you are not serious about your own life, no one else will be either
  • If you can't get your own crap together then you won't be able to take care of others.

Jocko Willink an 20 year Navy SEAL Veteran and author of a book called "Extreme Ownership", says:

"any team, in any organization, all responsibility for success and failure rests with the leader. The leader must own everything in his or her world. There is no one else to blame. The leader must acknowledge mistakes and admit failures, take ownership of them, and develop a plan to win.” 

You are that leader. You are that man. You are not a victim.

Now. Go. Win.

Stephen