What to do when you are not fulfilled at your job: 5 ways to find your purpose again

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Several years ago, I came into the den in my house, and wept. I had just got off work from my job on second shift, but really I was working much more than that. It was about 2:30 am. My life had come to a crossroads and I needed to figure out what was going on. I was 30 pounds overweight, had $55,000 in debt, and the job I was in was sucking every last amount of energy I had.

I had hit rock bottom in my life, for the third time.

  • The first time I was in High School and decided to put a gun in my mouth and end it all - (17 years old)

  • The second time was when I was in the Navy in the middle of the Pacific Ocean - (22 years old)

  • The third time was in the den of my house - (30 years old)

Maybe you have had these moments, or you are in one right now. Just know, I have been there, and the only way to get through it, is to surrender.

What do I mean by that?

You can’t control what you can’t control right?

So don’t try.

Accept that, it is what it is, up until this moment. It’s like hitting a reset button on an old Nintendo game system. You can’t start where you were at, but you can start over, knowing what you now know.

Ownership is always better

Take responsibility for being where you are at. Don’t beat yourself up, don’t dwell on it. Take a second, accept it, then move on. Start over. Hit reset.

Done.

Now, you can start going to work.

More than likely if you are feeling stuck at work, it’s because you are not doing the things that excite you, or your company, manager, boss…whatever is holding you back or keeping you dependent.

50 Cent, in his book “The 50th Law” says:


WHEN YOU WORK FOR OTHERS, YOU ARE AT THEIR MERCY. THEY OWN YOUR WORK; THEY OWN YOU. YOUR CREATIVE SPIRIT IS SQUASHED. WHAT KEEPS YOU IN SUCH POSITIONS IS A FEAR OF HAVING TO SINK OR SWIM ON YOUR OWN. INSTEAD YOU SHOULD HAVE A GREATER FEAR OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU REMAIN DEPENDENT ON OTHERS FOR POWER. YOUR GOAL IN EVERY MANEUVER IN LIFE MUST BE OWNERSHIP, WORKING THE CORNER FOR YOURSELF. WHEN IT IS YOURS TO LOSE-YOU ARE MORE MOTIVATED, MORE CREATIVE, MORE ALIVE. THE ULTIMATE POWER IN LIFE IS TO BE COMPLETELY SELF-RELIANT, COMPLETELY YOURSELF.
— 50 Cent

That means, you are in control of who you are, and what you do. Most people work jobs and tow the line for their employers. I can tell you from experience, the more confident you are in yourself and your abilities, the less you need to worry about. Mainly because you will learn to trust yourself, and depend on yourself and not your employer.

Your employer, or other people, want to keep you dependent on them. They control when you work, how much you make, when you can work…as long as you let them.

Now that you have taken ownership and accepted that you and you alone can change the outcome, here are five things you can do to to recharge your life and find purpose.


1) Become Financially Independent

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Just six years ago, I had $55,000 in debt.

I was left with a couple of choices.

  • I could make payments on it for the next 30 years, and the interest I would pay would make the loans double the original amount. So instead of paying $55,000, I was actually going to be paying over $100,000. That hardly seemed worth it.

  • Take ownership of my debt, and pay it off as soon as possible.

Guess which one I chose?

Exactly, I chose freedom.

In one of the daily emails that I send out, I was talking about operating values.

One of mine is:

Always choose freedom and autonomy over money, promotions, fame, or selfish gain.

Since paying off debt would move me towards freedom, and not paying would keep me in chains. I chose freedom. The more financially independent you are, the more autonomous you can be. In other words. No one can own you. You are not anchored by your employer or anyone.

Employers and the government love to keep people dependent on them financially. They understand that humans are consumers and will choose what they think they need over what they want most. When people become trapped by their consumerism, and bad spending habits, the more they can mess with you.

When you are financially independent, the odds of the poker game turn in your favor.

Yes, I look at life as a game of strategy and skill…and bluffing.

I will give you the exact steps that I took to get out of debt.

  • I sold everything. This became addicting. It is fun to make a sell.

  • I packed my lunch, and didn’t eat out at all.

  • I sold one of my cars and got a beater. Drove it for 8 years. (It recently died on me)

  • Made a budget and stuck to it - (Download the Budget form Here)

  • Found a second job - The story for this is hilarious, I will share it in a video soon.

  • Put every extra dollar I had on the debt - I was picking up pennies on the ground

  • Every bonus I got at work went towards the debt

  • Constantly looked for ways to make money

  • Listened to Dave Ramsey Podcast every day

  • My wife and I were a team and worked together

That’s really about it. It took us 2.5 years to pay everything off. It was one of the best decisions we have ever made, and we learned a lot doing it. We learned how to delay gratification, and work towards a goal together as a team. This was essential. If you have a spouse, you both have to be on the same page.


2) Start Exercising

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The whole time I was spending on becoming financially independent, I didn’t really have any extra money to spend, or time to burn on doing other stuff, so I started exercising.

I believe that paying off debt is proportional to losing weight and getting in shape.

Both take work.

I was 30 pounds overweight, and I had gotten there because I ate more food than I needed to and did nothing to keep it in check.

What was really cool though was, as I got in shape, my debt decreased. I was winning in the arena of life.

0.00 1.00
BUY NOW

Exercising is free, so you don’t even have to spend money and Running is one of the best ways to lose weight and get in shape, so that’s what I started doing. Then I moved on to triathlons, after that I did an ultra-marathon where I ran 31 miles and raised $1500 for Orphans Aid International.

Now, I do CrossFit in my garage and workout with a group of men from F3Toledo every now and then.

If I could boil life down for a person and have them do only two things in their life everyday, it would be to read the bible and exercise.

One is for the mind and body and the other is for the soul. they go hand in hand, you can’t train one and not the other.

Also, a man’s testosterone levels begin to decrease significantly once he hits age 30, so everything that he can do to slow this process down is going to be a huge win in his life.


3) Create Goals

I’m sure that you have heard this a thousand times…quite frankly, I don’t care…it works.

If you want to sit down and create some life goals, check out my 100 Impossible Lifetime Goals for some inspiration, and use the excel spreadsheet.

You can always be like everyone else and live in fear of being the man you were made to be. It’s easy to stay in a bubble of comfort and never step out.

I was like that…afraid to take risks or to put myself out there. I thought that if I was just a Nice Guy, and kept to myself that fortune would follow me. To a certain degree that is true, but I have learned that good things happen to good people, and bad things happen to good people.

Stuff doesn’t just fall in your lap, you have to work for it, and the best way to do that is to create goals.

If you continue to do the things that have gotten you where you are at then you will continue to get the same results. I am telling you this because that what happened to me. I was sick and tired of waiting and waiting for it to be the right time for me to act. That time never came. It never does.

You have to be proactive.

That promotion at work that you want..Yep, it might not come, and there is no use working your tail off for something you might not get. If you get it, you get it. Remember, you hold the power.

Start answering the questions that I asked myself:

  • If I had no limitations, what would my perfect day look like?

  • How much money would I need to get everything I want? (For me it was around $300K)

  • What step can I take to get to those things today?

  • How can I start engineering my escape?

  • Am I moving towards freedom and autonomy, or more money and more hours?

  • What am I good at, and what do I love to do?


4) Read Books and ask questions

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That night I broke down in the den, I had never ever even started a blog or anything like that. I didn’t know anything about building websites or writing or email marketing. It all seemed so foreign. Rather than getting wrapped up in all of the things I didn’t know how to do, I focused on just doing what I did know how to do which was write.

I figured that there were a million books and resources out there of people who were in the same position I was once in, and could help me. I searched them out, and found several people who had done exactly what I was doing, so I reached out to them for guidance and asked questions. Then I read the books that they told me to read, and tried things that they told me to try.

I honestly wish I was better at some of the things they are, or that I had more time, but what I do know is that every time I do something, I get better at it.

Since starting 360 Man Project:

  • I have redone the website about 3 times

  • Lost articles and had to rewrite

  • Messed up 1000+ times

  • Had people write me and tell me how inspired they are

  • Helped people get in better physical shape

  • Made over $100

  • Written E books

  • Written articles for other websites

  • Been asked about my experience

  • I have been called names, and told I am foolish or that I don’t know what I’m doing

  • Wanted to quit 1000+ times

  • Learned HTML & CSS

Am I making a million dollars? No

Am I successful? Yes. From where I started to now, I have learned so much more

Am I much happier now that I am doing something that I have always wanted to do, but was scared to try and pursue? Absolutely!

There is no greater time than now to pursue what you want and be successful at it. The only thing that is required of you is that you try. You put in effort, and you move.

The band Switchfoot has a song called “Dare you to Move”, that I absolutely love.

Read these words:

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

There is this tension of who we are, and who we were made to be.

It’s time to get in the game and move. Be that man, the one God is calling you into. Beyond the mundane and boredom of your current existence.

Read books and ask questions about everything. Ask questions about life, seek wisdom and pursue truth.

Ask questions about the things that you are interested in, and read books on those topics. You will inevitably reach your goals by remaining consistent and hungry.

These are the books I read when first starting out:


5) Live in Reality

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Stay Strong, Stay grounded, and live in reality.

What do I mean by that? I mean, understand that the more in touch with reality you are, the more self aware you will be. The more you will be able to anticipate other peoples motives and your own future.

The reality is:

  • No one cares more about your future and success than you do

  • You are dispensable to your company. As much as I hate to say it, they will cut you and not even blink.

  • People lie, manipulate and flatter. This is the power struggle. Don’t take it personal, its just human nature.

  • The world wants you to be dependent, addicted and useless.

  • Learn to be self-reliant. I know I will catch flack for this, but if you remain dependent on someone else. When they go, you will be helpless. Learn to handle things yourself. Learn to become invaluable wherever you go.

  • Some people want to see you fail, they want to see you get flustered. Remain level headed, detached and calm.

  • Some people will flatter you and complement you, but it comes from a place of jealousy. They are probably up to something. Keep a watchful eye.

Jesus said in Matthew 10:16: “I am sending you like lambs into a pack of wolves. So be as wise as snakes and as innocent as doves.”

The more in touch with reality you are, the better prepared you will be when things go crazy. You will have primed yourself to be in a position of stability no matter what happens.

When bad things happen, you won’t be surprised or shocked that these things have happened. Just know that they will happen.

I know churches teach you to be “nice”, but that is not what Jesus ever taught. The world doesn’t need more “nice guys”, it needs good men, dangerous men, and men that live in reality.


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