5 Reasons why men like to be and stay average, and why they aren't asking the right questions

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There is a war on masculinity. There is a war.

It is fought by yourself (Maybe), and the invisible enemy, that is preventing you from being the man you are made to be. Some would call this enemy the devil, some would call it a shadow oligarch, and some would call it culture.

I define this enemy as anything that is preventing your soul from being spiritually free. It is anything that is preventing you from being the man that you were made to be. The one that you know you are.

If you think about that, then the whole dynamic of warfare is changed.

It is no longer seen as something that isn’t on your doorstep. It is no longer classified as a battle between trained american soldiers in Afghanistan and members of ISIS.

The battle is right in your living room, right under your nose.

If you don’t see it like that, then I’m going to be very truthful with you right now.

You are losing.

5 reasons Why men like to Be and stay Average

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1) They are afraid of upsetting someone or are scared of who they will become

I believe that most men are scared of who they really are.

Do you believe that?

I do, because I was scared of who I was, and to be who I was made to be. I used to apologize for things that I didn’t need to apologize for. I walked on eggshells trying not to confront issues in my life. Instead of dealing with them, I pushed them down or avoided them.

It destroyed me on the inside. I felt like I was constantly trying to bury my own opinions, emotions and even the things that I liked.

I was a typical “Nice Guy”, and maybe I still am to some degree. However, some years ago things sort of started making sense to me. I realized that I was made for a purpose, and that I didn’t need to hide who I really was anymore. I was made to be me. I didn’t need permission or an excuse.

I was tired of putting my life on hold by doing the things that others expected of me.

I was done being average. I wanted to be the man I was made to be.

Maybe you feel like that…trapped…average…

When I say average, what I really mean, is you bought into societies version of yourself, and chose to remain right where you are at in life being, broke, naive, and institutionalized. You believe that the system is stacked against you, you have lost your fight, and are trying to keep everything status quo.

It’s a lie. Don’t believe it.

The rapper 50 Cent says it like this:

“The greatest fear people have is that of being themselves. They want to be someone else. They do what everyone else does even if it doesn’t fit where and who they are. But you get nowhere that way; Your energy is weak and no one pays attention to you. You’re running away from the one thing that you own – what makes you different.” - 50 Cent

When a man decides to be the person he is made to be, it bothers other people. Other people like to keep you in a box. They want you to act a certain way, or to be someone different than who you really are.

Too freaking bad. You have your own goals, your own mind, and your own passions. Pursue them and don’t look back. Don’t be afraid of what other people are going to say.

A friend of mine posted a quote the other day, it read:

“You will never be criticized by someone doing more than you. You will only be criticized by someone doing less.”

Yikes. Read that again.

In this situation, doing more means, doing something to better your situation or circumstance in life. It means being the person you were created to be, despite what others want you to be.

When a man decides to fight against the “enemy” (Anything that is preventing them from reaching their goals or be who they were made to be). He becomes a target.

The reason he becomes a target is because he also becomes a threat. People like the status quo, they don’t like someone who rocks the boat.

Think about it. People crucified Jesus, shot Abraham Lincoln, shot Theodore Roosevelt. Frederick Douglas was a slave and become a free man because he started fighting back when he got whipped or beaten.

“I didn't know I was a slave until I found out I couldn't do the things I wanted.”

- Frederick Douglas

Malcom X was killed, John F. Kennedy was killed, Martin Luther King Jr. Was killed. Their words were powerful and they spoke out and fought for their beliefs. They were being who they were made to be.

Most likely, you won’t be killed, but you will face adversity. That’s the price you pay.

I get told I’m gay, or that my posts are stupid, or that I need to do things different. Some of that might be true, but I’m figuring it out too, and I don’t really care what others say.

My response to them is, “What are you doing… and how is that working out for you?”


2)They blame others for their insecurities and circumstances

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This happens way more often than it should.

You see, men are responsible for their own actions. The way they handle themselves, carry themselves, and communicate with others (Their Brand!), is a direct reflection of their own circumstances.

No one else can be blamed.

If you make poor money choices, then you can’t blame anyone for your bad choices. If you are fat, overweight, and unhealthy,. You are the one picking up the fork, no one else.

If you don’t like the way that your marriage is headed, then do something about it.

Too often I see men blame women for everything wrong in their lives. It’s easy to do, and maybe we have all thought it at one time.

A man who twists words and manipulates his spouse or his mate into believing that she is the reason for the issues is both a coward and a little boy.

Robert Glover is better at this, and calls them “Nice Guys.”

According to Glover, the term Nice Guy is actually a misnomer because Nice Guys are often anything but nice.

Here are some Not-So-Nice Traits of Nice Guys: (Source: No More Mr. Nice Guy - Book)

  • Nice Guys are dishonest. These men hide their mistakes, avoid conflict, say what they think people want to hear, and repress their feelings. These traits make Nice Guys fundamentally dishonest.

  • Nice Guys are secretive. Because they are so driven to seek approval, Nice Guys will hide anything that they believe might upset anyone. The Nice Guy motto is, "If at first you don't succeed, hide the evidence."

  • Nice Guys are manipulative. Nice Guys tend to have a hard time making their needs a priority and have difficulty asking for what they want in clear and direct ways. This creates a sense of powerlessness. Therefore, they frequently resort to manipulation when trying to get their needs met.

  • Nice Guys are controlling. A major priority for Nice Guys is keeping their world smooth. This creates a constant need to try to control the people and things around them.

  • Nice Guys are addictive. Addictive behavior serves the purpose of relieving stress, altering moods, or medicating pain. Since Nice Guys tend to keep so much bottled up inside, it has to come out somewhere. One of the most common addictive behaviors for Nice Guys is sexual compulsiveness.

  • Nice Guys have issues with sexuality. Though most Nice Guys deny having problems with sex, I have yet to meet one who isn't either dissatisfied with his sex life, has a sexual dysfunction (can’t get or maintain an erection, climaxes too quickly), or has sexually acted out (through affairs, prostitution, pornography, compulsive masturbation, etc.).


3) They look at porn, and allow it to limit them

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Pornography at it’s basic level,…at least the way our society sees it, is for entertainment.

However, it runs much deeper than that. In the same way that, Hollywood uses subtleties in their movies and television shows to push a pro-homosexual agenda.

The enemy pushes pornography as a weapon upon the masculine soul.

Just like Sonny Arvado says in his book “Of Tyrants and Tellers”:

Internet pornography is a weapon. It is a weapon of spiritual mass destruction. Long-term pornography consumption robs men of their masculine, fighting spirit.

It hasn’t just been since the internet, it was way before that when men used to hide magazines under the bed or in their closets.

When a man masturbates and uses pornography as his way of staying “fulfilled”, he truly limits his ability to be more masculine.

However, instead of a man just quitting cold turkey, because let’s face it, most men can’t do that for one reason or another.

Men need to understand that it is a battle against an invisible enemy. (The one who wants to keep you from being the man you were made to be.)

In other words. “Pornography is used against you to destroy your masculine soul, your very essence.”

The guys who don’t see anything wrong with it, and joke about it. They are losing the battle on more fronts than they know and they are too scared to admit it.

Average men are the ones who joke about stuff like that, and even buy the magazines for their kids. They are sloppy physical specimens that drink too much beer, and make sexual jokes.

These are the same guys that are sneaking away at night to punch their munchkin in the dark hours in front of a Computer screen.

If you have to do it when no one is looking, then it is an addiction, or at the very least, something that is keeping you from being the best version of yourself.

This is exactly where the enemy wants to keep you.

Just like any other weapon that is used against you, you have to learn to fight and defend against it.


4) They live in the past

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All I can think of is Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. All he does is talk about what used to be, and how he used to do stuff. He thinks he’s pretty awesome, but he’s the only one.

The truth is, he’s stuck in the past, and so are a lot of men.

You can’t go back. So stop trying.

What has happened is already done, there is no time to try and change it. It will never be as you remember it anyway, and the time and situation you are in now is much different than it was then.

Sure, if there is an apology that needs to be made, do it. Otherwise, own it, accept it, and move on.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and they continually bring up the same thing?

  • When I was in high school I used to lift 225 pounds 15 times

  • When I was running a lot I could do 30 miles in 4 hours

  • I used to run marathons all the time, I did so many

  • I used to be the best at…

Every conversation is a way to brag and insert their famous life activity.

That’s great, and maybe there is something there to be proud of.

I am always curious though….

What are you doing now?

See, what happens is that most men want to try and re-live the glory days, and they stay focused and immersed on trying to do that, that they miss out on what’s going on now.

A man’s journey is never over. It doesn’t peak when a famous life event happens, it isn’t lived in the past, it is lived in the present and the now.


5) They have accepted a mediocre version of masculinity that is pawned off as the archetype

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The enemy, and those that want to see you stay a rat in a cage, continually drill a message of conformity and passivity into men using PSYOP (Psychological Operations) techniques.

Most men have no idea it is happening.

Take television for example. Shows like the old MacGyver where he was calculated, Masculine, and always cool under pressure. If there was a situation he would find a way out.

He was always on the side of right and wasn’t afraid to deal with his problems.

Now, you have TV shows like the big bang theory with older men who can’t quite figure out how to function. Yet, people watch it.

  • Leonard is the stereotypical male figure we see in today’s society, he is the normal, average male. He is passive aggressive, unassertive, indecisive, and generally apathetic.

  • Sheldon is clearly homosexual.

  • Howard still lives with his mom, watches porn, and has learned how to be completely useless.

  • Raj is supposed to be a funny extra from India, but it’s really an assault on Indian culture.

This is what has been drilled into the men in this culture. You are too dangerous. You are too masculine.

Some other things you might hear are:

  • If you own a gun you are scary

  • If you are physically fit and strong, you are too manly and weird

  • If you recognize things in culture you are a conspiracy theorist

  • If your son or daughter defends and hits himself at school, he/she is dangerous and it’s wrong.

Recently, I had a conversation with a man about his two sons. I asked him if he wrestles with them. His adamant response was, no way, never. I teach my kids not to hit, and they get in trouble if they do.

His boys are always being bullied at school, and he is always having discussions with the principal.

I told him that I couldn’t believe it, that boys need to have that connection with their father. At the very least he needed to let them hit and wrestle with him.

No such luck.

What in the heck are we teaching our kids?

These subtleties are creeping their way further and further into daily living that we will miss them if we aren’t made aware.

That’s the problem. Most men have no idea what is happening on a very personal level. Unless they are willing to take action then the enemy will win out.


Questions to Ask and Actions to take:

The first thing you need to do is realize that you are in a war. There is a fight for your mind and your soul.

If you don’t recognize it, or can’t see it, then you are probably spiritually dead. In that case it’s time to immerse yourself in truth.

  • Read the Bible

  • Stop watching the news

  • Detox from social media

  • Start Exercising

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What battles am I losing?

    • Am I in shape? Am I financially independent?

  • What are the things I am putting into my mind? What have I been blinded too?

  • Are there subtleties that have left unchecked?

  • Am I guiding my children correctly? Do I let them get brainwashed by video games, Movies, TV and leave them unchecked on their phones and tablets?


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