How to define your own success as a man: Find out what you really want most in life


Most men wander aimless through life.

Not really knowing where they are going or what they are doing. They just wake up and start doing stuff. Directionless, meaningless, stuff.

This sort of life creates, monotony, burnout, depression, lethargy, obesity, consumerism and a whole slew of other illnesses and symptoms.

Yet, we choose to live this way.

Our worst fears become our reality. 

  • The fear of regret
  • The fear of not being who we are made to be
  • The fear of inaction
  • The fear of failure

You name it. People live in fear, and it's mostly self-induced.

On the flip-side, there are those men who go through life trying to please others and live up to someone else's expectations or search for their approval.

They spend their time in activities for all the wrong reasons, maybe it's because they have low self-esteem and doing those things make them feel loved, wanted and needed, and at home they feel disrespected and like a dog on a leash.

Somehow being a part of something makes them feel like more of a man. They are using these things as an outlet to rescue them from a life that they don't want to participate in. In other words their family life is atrocious, and they will do anything to escape it.

Men do a lot of dumb things, for a lot of dumb reasons.

They are missing the point.

  • Escapism, is not healthy.
  • Sacrificing your home life for your hobby is not healthy. 
  • Trying to please other people is not healthy
  • Wandering aimless through life is not healthy

None of those things are going to help you be successful the way that you want to be.

Own up to your situation and who you are

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Poet D.H. Lawrence said, “I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself…”

The same should be said for you...Wild man.

The first step in defining success is owning up to who we are and our current situation. 

Everything that has happened in your life up to this point can't be changed. It is what it is. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, quit being a whiny baby and little pouting kid. Man up.

You can't change what was or what happened, but you can change what happens to you from here on out. You are responsible for your own life.

If you don't like it, change it. Don't wait for a new year's resolution, or a Monday, or after the holidays. Do it right freaking now.

Your life is a direct reflection of the choices that you make.

If you are a dirt-bag, then you are always going to blame others and believe that the world is sabotaging you. That somehow everyone is out to get you. What a shitty attitude and mindset. That must be freaking miserable to live like that.

If you want to be a man, start by stepping up and into who you are. Take ownership.

Define your success: (Listen to : 3 Reasons you are not having success in your life)

  • If you want to be in physical shape - Define it. What does that look like, what daily habits do you need to have?
  • If you want to be financially free - Define it - Pay off debt, learn how to make more money.
  • If you want to run an ultra-marathon - Define it - How much do you need to run? What is it going to take?

You get to define what success looks like to you. It's not up to anyone else, and you don't have to answer to anyone else. This is part of being your own man.

The problem is that men think they need to be something that others want them to be. Who they are made to be is inside of them, calling them into greatness. This seems scary and uncomfortable. Most men are afraid of being that wild man, that alpha male who is just waiting to be unleashed.

For years we have been taught by society to stuff that man away, that he is not good, or politically correct. However, the opposite is true. That man is the man you need to be, the man your family needs you to be, and the man you were made to be.

You have everything you need. Define your success, and be proud of who you are becoming.

Don't give up on your success, don't retreat

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Once you define that success, it's time to get busy.

Do everything you can to make that success a reality. 

Create goals, and set up systems and processes that will get you there. These daily disciplines are what is going to set you apart from everyone else.

Most people are clueless and unambitious. They do stuff because they want to be cool, or loved, or wanted, or because they think they need to. That's called being distracted.

Cut that shit out. Distractions are the enemy of the ambitious and driven man that you were created to be. Distractions and useless things are going to create a wedge between the man you are made to be and the man world is trying to make you.

If you live in a continual state of, I'll get around to it tomorrow, or I just didn't have time, or I'm tired and I had a hard day. Then you will be miserable. 

That is no life at all, that is death.

Discipline and Repetition create success

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Structure your day. Be disciplined. 

Sure, it might be boring to do the same thing over and over again, but what happens when you do something over and over again? 

You get really good at doing it.

  • Want to lose weight - Exercise and eat healthy every single day. Pay attention to what you are doing.
  • Want to pay off debt - Continually watch where you money is going, be diligent and intentional every day.
  • Want to learn a new skill - Practice every single day, even if it's only for 5 minutes. 
  • If you want to write a book - Write every single day, even if it's about nothing.

Discipline is a lost art. Everyone wants stuff right now, but they don't want to put in the work. We want the six-pack, but we settle for the spray-on one. We want to be a millionaire and have freedom, but we settle for putting everything on credit.

We want to be a great leader at work and in life, but we settle for just using our title to get by.

Define your own success, then have the discipline to achieve it.

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