The death of the manly man: How it happened, and what we need to do to as men to fight back in a culture that tries to mold us

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I'll never forget the first time that I watched "MacGyver""Predator", and "Rambo", I was in awe. I wanted to be just like those men of action. The gritty, muscular, silent confidence, was appealing to me. It's the same as the Navy Seals, the Spartans, the Samurai and other warrior cultures.

These were real men, forged in the battles of life. They faced incredible odds and overcame them. Not by extreme superhero strength, mystical powers or through a virtual platform. They were just men, who were strong, worked through problems, and never quit.

I daydreamed about being a Navy Seal or a Delta Force team member, and after school I would wander through the field that I traversed every day, digging in the ground, building a fort and playing guns with my friends.

My days were not filled with video games, iPhones, instant messaging or Facebook. I didn’t even own a cell phone until I was 20 years old. Maybe I was behind the times, but I really enjoyed being the type of man that I had grown up seeing modeled for me. My Dad was of the same breed. He taught me how to use a knife, shoot a gun, build a fire, hike mountains, hunt, fish, and to read good books.

My Dad was very quiet unless he had something to say, he taught me that wisdom was more important than speaking or always having something to say, and that I would discover more about myself being in nature than in any building or congregation that other people went to. He taught me that you didn’t need a lot of friends, just a few good ones. He taught me how to work on cars, build things with my hands, and to shoot a bow. He taught me how to throw a baseball, a football, and to lift weights.

This is how being a man was modeled for me. I was taught that the military men, were of utmost importance, and they were to be respected and honored. They make the sacrifice every day to defend this great country, and to fight for what is right.

This is how manhood was taught to me.

In high school. I chewed tobacco, shot guns, floated rivers and camped in the woods.

Kids today hang out on their game systems, eat chips and converse through social media.



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What happened?

  • The convenience of technology and lifestyle comfort has made men passive
    • Cell phones and internet at our fingertips keep us from leaving the world behind. Men no longer have to seek something out, it's easier to be lazy.
    • Every generation before us was stronger, and had to work harder. They had to fight for everything they have. We now have a very entitled culture.
    • Also, Less and less men listen to Metallica, Megadeath, Pantera and Black Sabbath. Now they listen to Ed Sheeran, Justin Beiber, and Emo junk.
  • Men are more concerned about pleasing themselves than being their own man
    • Dude, pornography is killing this culture. Heck, when I was growing up, if you wanted to see something like that, you had to work hard to do it. Now all you have to do is jump on a computer and you can see the nastiest, sleaziest most disgusting stuff ever known to man.
    • A man's testosterone peaks after 7 days of not beating his meat. Lay off, save it for your lady.
  • We have become massive consuming machines
    • We are just like Edward Norton in fight club. We are just mass consumers. We take, take and take. Never producing. 
    • When you have a purpose you produce and create. Men have lost that will to create and pursue because they are overwhelmed by consumerism.
  • Fathers are more absent and in their homes  
    • This should come as no surprise, There are no men to teach boys to become men. There is no passing of the torch so to speak.
    • Men have to be present to teach their kids how to be successful at life, working hard, learning about money, respect, showing up, how to treat people. All the fundamental life skills that most people lack these days.

We are a culture that has access to everything and knowledge available at the push of a button, yet we lack basic character and the real virtues of manliness. You can level up on Call of Duty but you don’t really know how to use or shoot a gun.

You can play a Navy SEAL in a video game, but you have no idea the depth of character and mindset it takes to be a real one.

This happening, and we are in the midst of it, and it is going to continue to be a problem unless we as men, learn to turn the tides.

So, what can we do?

There are a couple of things that I have learned to do.

  • Don't play video games. Go outside, read a book, or build something. I get it, some of you are gamer's and good at it. Good for you. If it's a bonding thing with your kids, great..., but make sure you are teaching them real life stuff.
    • I would rather teach my kids to be Turok than have them think they are Turok, because they played him in a game once.
  • Get rid of all game apps on your phone. Instead replace it with an activity that requires you to be active and learn a skill.
  • Exercise and Lift Weights. It boosts testosterone, builds strength and helps with overall wellness and confidence.
  • Stop looking at pornography. If you are married, you have to be a man and learn how to get your needs met. If you are a young man, learn to deal with it.

What's more manly to you?

The Marlboro Man from the 80's

Current Advertisment Photo

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There are even less manly ads, sure, smoking is bad for you and unhealthy as a habit,(A cigar once in a while is just fine) but so is eating like garbage, becoming obese and having all sorts of other medical conditions.

***Caveat: Most Advertisements are misleading and represent something I could care less about, but you get the picture.

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The Man Diet

Chad Howse


Fight Back

Men need to wake up. 

They have to realize that they are warriors and there is a battle to fight every single day. There is a fight for your mind, Testosterone (The very lifeblood in side you), your attention, and your health.

Get in the Arena.

  • Start lifting weights and moving heavy objects.Your fitness needs to be paramount in your life. Take the time now, because you don't want to have this conversation in 10 years and the doctor says..."I told you so."
  • Hold yourself to a higher standard, set yourself apart. Be accountable to yourself.
    • When other people eat the donuts and gossip and cut corners. Don't! Do the opposite, get in shape, stay humble and quiet. Let your actions show who you are.
  • Stop wasting your time on dumb stuff. You have one life to live, live it well. When you go to heaven at the end of your life here, whether you believe or not. You want to hear the words "Well Done", not "This is who you could have been." 

Be the man you were made to be.

Stephen is a Navy Veteran, Cross-fit Enthusiast, and Engineer, who loves to lift weights in his garage, and help men be the men that they were made to be.

Photo Credit: Tom Simpson - FLICKr - Dennis Dun and Kurt Russell promotional photo from Big Trouble in Little China (1986)