How to be a better man in a world that always wants a quick fix or some form of medication

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Most people want a quick fix.

They want a fabricated version of themselves.

Not only that, but they want, processed food, microwaveable snack dinners, Keurig coffee, on demand streaming movies, fast-lane checkouts, grocery pick-up in a car.

We like things how we want them, when we want them, and in the best quality possible. We are a highly consumerist culture, and we are driven by our "We want it now, mentality." It's really kind of sad.

We no longer know the term patience, or wait, we just don't have time in our lives for it. 

"The things we don't think we have time for now, are going to be the things we wish he had time for later." 

How our culture has medicated themselves

We have also become a highly medicated society. 

We use drugs to help us instead of exercising our bodies. We believe medication is the key to all illness, disease and soreness. Pharmaceutical companies make billions for their drug sales, and doctors are expected to push these drugs on their patients.

Some of the drugs are highly addictive and require that more medication be used to counteract the effects of the original drug.

Seems like a racket to me.

When I go to my doctor, and I might have something going on like a cold, or a sore muscle, I am always asked if I want medication to take care of it, and sometimes I'm just given a prescription whether I want it or not.

I have to be honest. I don't use any medication unless I absolutely have to (Antibiotics for infection, or ibuprofen for pain.) When I got my last two surgeries, I didn't even take the medication the prescribed. I only used Ibuprofen as I needed.

I don't like using medicine.

When I got rear ended in a car accident. I went to physical therapy and then instead of drugs, I used exercise to strengthen my muscles and help relieve pain.

I was listening to Pandora radio in the garage gym the other day and a song called "Medicate" by Theory of a Deadman came on, and it was the inspiration for this post.

I believe that everyone has turned to something to help them "medicate" , and get through the day or their lives. It isn't just medicine.

People medicate with all sorts of things:

  • Food
  • Porn
  • Hobbies
  • Movies & Video Games
  • Technology

Food as Medication

People use food to feel better about themselves, or deal with "stress", and make jokes about it, how they are just a "fat kid at heart." They have believed a lie that they are just that way and there is no way to change it.

We like prepackaged meals and processed food with tons of refined sugar. Companies slap a label on something that says "organic", yet it's still highly addictive and sugary.

You can't trade a donut for a donut. If a looks like a wolf, and acts like a wolf, but still says Baaaaa!, its probably a wolf!

Technology and Pornography as Medication

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Another way people medicate is through movies and video games, or technology in some form. With computers in almost every home, men and women are tempted to use these devices for everything from games, to porn, to movies, to binging on YouTube videos.

You don't know how man times men have told me they struggle with spending countless hours on video games, YouTube, and looking at porn. It is a huge problem.

Some men have such an addiction that it is destroying their marriages and relationships. It's much easier to maintain a relationship with someone or something that requires no communication skills, foreplay, or romantic gestures. It's more convenient than actually having to learn how to interact with reality.

Video games consume men's time and unfortunately that is time and energy that you can't get back. Trust me, I know. I once spent an entire two days on my couch playing Fable II when it came out. My wife left for work, came back and I had been eating junk food and playing that game for 8 hours. I stunk, and had nothing to show for myself other than all of the work I put into building my character online. 

Imagine if I had invested 8 hours in building up my own character, or going on my own epic quest. This was a point in my life when I really had to ask myself the question of who it was that I really wanted to be.

How to combat culture and be a better man

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You are better than that. Sure, that might seem prideful or egotistic or that you have a superiority complex. You don't. You are better than the shit in your life that tries to prevent you from being the man you were made to be.

Learn to be a Strong Grounded Man.

Strong men, grounded men, don't let those things into their life. Instead they choose to rise above them and focus on becoming the man that they have always meant to be.

Things like cell phones, video games, and things become less important to them than keeping their minds and bodies healthy, loving their families, and being a leader in their homes, communities and workplaces.

They cultivate relationships and have a strong internal confidence that they derive from their foundation of faith and sense of awareness and self worth.

How does a man learn to do this?

1) If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away.

I loves this verse in Matthew, but please don't take it literally. What it means is that if you have a problem with pornography, social media, video games, or junk food....Then get rid of it.

I haven't played video games in almost 3 years, it has been just as long since I watched the news or had cable TV. Call me crazy, but I call it self-awareness and prioritizing.

I got rid of video games because I was wasting my life and time playing them rather than focusing on the things that I needed to be focusing on, like raising two daughters, spending time with my family, and being healthy. It was consuming my time and energy.

I could build entire cities, empires and conquer enemies in a video game, but I couldn't do the same in my own life. Instead of defeating enemies in battle, I was losing to them. 

  • I was losing the battle in my relationships
  • I was losing the battle in my health and wellness
  • I was losing the battle in my mind
  • I was losing the battle in the workplace
  • I was losing the battle in my spiritual health

I could have spent my time being a better husband, father, leader and man, but instead I chose to spend countless hours trying to upgrade my avatar.

I don't have video games in the house anymore , they were causing me to stumble, so I gouged them out. It might seem extreme or radical, but if I didn't do it, it would have just been a cyclic problem.

People who say "everything in moderation", are just lying to themselves. Grounded men are at least honest with themselves and everyone around them. They can admit defeat, and have the decency to do something about it.

2) Fitness isn't a hobby, it is a lifestyle

Want to be a better man,... get in shape.

Stronger men are more confident in who they are and what they need to be doing. When you are more confident, you will be able to make decisions better and deal with stress better. You won't be as self focused because you will be getting the exercise you need.

When a man does not exercise he becomes lethargic, self focused and will most likely turn eating food, or indulging in something else as a way of life. Then he will become unhappy and restless knowing that he is out of shape and overweight. Don't let this happen to you. Strong and grounded men make fitness and health a part of their life, because they know that it will make them better and stronger, and those around them will also become better.

Lifting weights and exercising isn't a hobby, it is a necessity for every human being.

3) Go for what you want most over what you want now

It's easy to want to do something right now and prolong what it is that we want most. In fact, everyday we are tempted to purchase things we don't need, and do things we don't really want to do.

Most people give into these impulses. They think they need the newest phone, or the best vehicle, or the coolest pair of jeans. All of those things are going to eventually become last years news.

None of those things are necessarily bad, but when it consumes our time and attention, that is when it becomes a problem.

There are always things in a persons life that they have always wanted or dreamed about. However, we have traded those dreams for something far less.

There is nothing wrong with wanting things right now, but don't trade it for what you want most.

Strong grounded men make a plan, and remain disciplined until they see it through. Men that are not grounded jump from one thing to another, they dabble but never become competent or proficient in anything because they don't take the time to see it through.

Make a plan for what you want, and stick to it. Do not deviate, and work towards those goals every single day.

Take Action

  • Make your 100 impossible Lifetime Goals List
  • Write down the things that you want in your life that you believe you want. Then figure out how much everything would cost.
    • I did this and I figured out that I everything that I want and believe that is all that I need in is about $353,000. That's really not a lot of money.
    • These are my goals and I have been slowly working toward them and have already knocked a few of them off the list.
  • Start exercising