The 5 biggest regrets every man must learn to avoid

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My car recently broke down on the side of the road.

I tried to call a couple people to come and get me, but it’s pretty typical that when you really need someone they aren’t available.

It’s Murphy’s law.

Instead of waiting it out, or going through my phone contacts, I popped open the trunk, grabbed my boots and my rucksack, and walked home.

It was only about 2.5 miles, but it was a great time to get a workout in, and also think about my life, as I often do. Us introverts love to think, internalize and self-reflect. It’s what we do best.

As I was walking I got to thinking about the regrets that I have had in my life up to this point, and how I can still avoid or change the outcome of them.

I don’t want to wake up one day and have the same regrets, and I don’t think that other people do either.

But in the long run, there’s still time to change the road you’re on - Led Zeppelin (Stairway to Heaven)

It seems that most men have given up hope on their dreams. Life has beat them down too many times and so they have relinquished their right to have a say in their own lives.

Somewhere along the lines from a boy to a man, he has lost the deep rooted sense of wildness, freedom and risk. He has settled in his life.

When he was a boy, he dreamed, he was happy and he got to play and enjoy his freedom.

Now he has maxed out credit cards, is working in a job he hates or fears that he will be doing for the next 30-40 years. He can barely manage to not spend the very little money that he is making.

He has kids that need his attention and and a wife that doesn’t love him anymore and has threatened to leave him or tells him hes not good enough or that she isn’t in love with him anymore.

This isn’t how he wanted life to go. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Him and his wife were supposed to live an adventure.

They were going to travel the world….now hes just a prisoner to his cubicle and a slave to the 9-5 grind.

Everything done now is just to settle, there is no more fight left, no more dream left.

It’s not too late. It’s never too late.


Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.
- Fulton Oursler

I’ve been in that situation, where I had given up on my dreams, where I hated my job, and was overweight, in debt up to my ears and I hated myself and the life I was living.

I am telling you that it does not need to be that way. As long as you do what it is that you know you should be doing and chasing your goals and dreams you are going to win, you are going to gain traction, and those opportunities are going to show up, so that you don’t have to live these 5 regrets.

Regret #1) I wish I could be the man that I was made to be

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I believe that we have two men that we can be. The man that everyone tells us to be and that we think we have to be, and then there is the man that we are made to be.

One of the biggest regrets that men have is not being true to themselves, and instead going along with what everyone else wants for them, or believes that they should be.

Deep in your heart and soul there is a voice telling you who you are, and the man you are. You can choose to listen to this, or you can listen to others tell you that you should just do this and that.

This voice is constant though and should not be taken for a feeling. Men don’t rely on feelings, those just come and go. The voice that you need to listen to is often the one that is telling you to have courage, and pushes past doubt. it says “You can do this, have courage, take heart.”

We waste too much of our lives on social media, video games, and entertainment. Things that don’t have much value, or add much value to our lives.

We also have things that we want to accomplish or do or build. Instead of settling to sit down on the couch all day, we could go for a hike or on an adventure. This breeds inspiration and confidence, and fills your mind with passion and adventure.

We only get one shot at this life, so don’t give up on yourself. Chase your dreams and don’t regret not being the man you were made to be.

Regret #2: I wish I didn’t need other peoples approval

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We spend way to much time trying to live up to other peoples expectations, or wanting their approval.

Life is way too short. We can’t walk around on eggshells.

For a man, this is no way to live, or function. In his book “No more Mr. Nice Guy”, Robert Glover talks about how to overcome this need for approval. Especially with women.

Men who are seeking approval don’t tend to take risks, and therefore don’t want to do anything to rock the boat in their relationships and lives. This constant need for approval leaves them paralyzed in becoming the man they were made to be.

You were made to be dangerous, daring, adventurous and to take calculated risks. It’s fun, it boosts testosterone and it’s good to learn lessons on your own.

Don’t stop living your life because someone else doesn’t approve of it. Don’t put someone else ahead of your goals.

In other words, if you are new to a relationship, don’t become a different person because you want them to approve of you, that will only result in you shooting yourself in the foot. Even if you are married, the same rules apply.

Approval and people pleasing is going to leave you in a constant state of frustration and confusion. Be bold and be yourself.


Regret #3) I wish I would have went after what I really wanted

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So many of us live in a hamster wheel, and we stay in that wheel for our entire lives. We play it safe, and bide our time.

I heard a song once by a band out of Cleveland named “State Fair”, in the song they said these words:

We bide our time, we bite our tongues, and we’re good to no one

We sit back, let the day run it’s course and do nothing to use the gifts, talents or resources that we have.

I felt like this for a long time, and finally one night I broke down in the den of my house at 2:30 am. I felt like I couldn’t go on anymore. I had hit rock bottom. That’s when the 360ManProject was first created. I spent the next 4 hours working on it.

This is what I know I am supposed to be doing, whether anyone’s else thinks so or not. I’ve had people laugh at me, tell me my writing stinks, told me it’s a waste of time, an a number of other things.

It’ doesn’t matter. I’m doing it because I am doing what I really want to do, and remaining true to myself.

We all know what that is, you hear it whispering to you everyday, it’s tapping you on the shoulder ever moment. Don’t let it go, follow it, pursue it. Don’t give up.

You don’t want to look back and wish you would have started when you first had the chance.


Regret #4) I wish I would have worked more hours at the office

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People say life is all about balance.

I don’t believe that. I don’t think you will ever find it. It’s about prioritizing and loving your family and spending time with them and also doing what you want to do. All the other stuff is what doesn’t matter.

Unfortunately, most people let “stuff” run their lives.

We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like - Fight Club

Not only do we do that, but we work ourselves to the bone to do it.

Everybody’s working for the weekend. (Insert Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze)

The reason most people work and work is because they either don’t like their home lives, they have an insatiable desire for power and money, or they have to work to afford the lifestyle that they have created. They are trapped by their desire to acquire.

I believe that most people like working, but they don’t like working for someone else or in a cubicle all day.

At the end of our lives, I doubt anyone will ask us why we didn’t work more.

I guess it’s really not about how much you worked, or hating work, or whatever. It really boils down to why you are working, and what you are working for.

If you are working to live a certain lifestyle, then you will always feel trapped unless you make more. If you are working because you are trapped under a mountain of debt, than that can seem like an endless uphill battle.

Ask yourself, why am I working so hard for something I don’t care that much about, and how can I spend more time doing what I love?


Regret #5) I wish I would have married the woman of my dreams and told her everyday how much she means to me

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As men this can be a huge struggle. Especially for married men with young kids. In the midst of the storm it’s difficult to remember to tell your spouse how much you love and appreciate her.

I fail at this constantly, and regret not saying it to my wife enough.

The reality though is that I love my wife, and I did dream about her and pray for her before I even knew her.

If you are a man looking for a woman I would advise you to do the same. Pray for exactly what you want and then stop trying so hard, and focus on becoming a man that is worthy of the amazing woman that you will find.

The problem is that men make women the focus of their lives and not working on becoming the best man that they can be. The man that they were made to be.

When you do this, you will naturally attract the woman of your dreams, the woman that is perfect for you.

For almost three years I didn’t date a woman or even hang out with one apart from a large group of friends. I spent that whole time just building habits and daily disciplines into my life that were going to help me be a better man.

While I was doing that, I was praying for exactly the type of woman that I wanted to marry and spend my life with.

If you are in this for the short game, then someone is going to lose every-time. This advice holds up whether you want to get married or never get married.

Once you find that woman, you will know. Then you need to tell her how much she means to you every single day.

It’s not going to be easy, and there are going to be rough patches, but this is what men do.


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