The best way to be a man is to not be afraid to be the one you were made to be

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Growing up my Dad taught me that it was OK to be a man.

More specifically, he taught me:

  • It’s ok to speak my mind

  • It’s ok to get in a fight

  • It’s ok to get in trouble

  • It’s ok to fail or lose

  • I don’t have to apologize

  • Sometimes things suck, learn to work through it

  • Don’t listen and do what others tell you to do just because they told you

  • Question everything

  • Trust myself and my instincts

  • See through Bullshit

  • Be blunt

  • He taught me how to hunt, shoot, fish, camp, build a fire, and survive in the wilderness

  • He taught me responsibility, and to own my own crap

  • He taught me to face my fears and to never quit

  • He taught me how to change my oil, and work on my own vehicle

  • He taught me how to play chess and poker

  • He taught me how to throw a punch, and to know when to do it

  • He taught me there are consequences to everything, good or bad

  • He taught me to respect someone until they give me reason not to

  • Hew taught me to work hard

  • He taught me about investing

  • He taught me to not be a whining crying boy

  • He taught me that I wasn’t entitled to anything and the world didn’t owe me

  • He taught me how to be alone

I know that not all dads are like that, that some of you didn’t have a dad, or maybe he was just a prick. The point is, you are your own man now. There are no more excuses.

Also, you have been fed some lies by mainstream media, churches, schools, and other institutions including our government to not be a man.

The same culture that asks young men to go to war and die on a battlefield is the same culture that gets up in arms over men being a man.

What’s masculinity they say…” Oh, yeah, it’s Toxic” …

I’m not really sure what that means, or where that phrase originated from, but one thing masculinity isn’t is Toxic.

Masculinity is the essence of our creator, and he passed that on to us. It is ageless wisdom and mystery. It does not fit into a box, nor should it.

We don’t really get to discover it unless we seek it, and it is always beckoning us to pursue.

Men who are opposite of that are “insecure” and do not represent the call of masculinity. This insecurity comes from another man in their life, not possessing masculine traits. The cycle tends to repeat itself.

You are the right man for the job

 Spartan warrior stylized illustration. Warrior throws javelin.

Despite what has happened in your life up to this point, you are still the right man for the job. It’s never too late to finish what was started.

You were made to be a warrior, and that is something that cannot be taken from you, no matter what.

Not all warriors start out as warriors though, it is part of the heroes story.

The hero is always someone you would least expect, much like Bilbo Baggins, or David against Goliath. However, as the story goes on the hero changes, or better yet transforms into the person they were made to be. A mentor comes along (Gandalf, Samuel), sees the hero for the person they are to become and guides them on their journey.

There are a multitude of tests and gauntlets that the hero must face and go through before becoming his true self. Much is the same of you. You are a destined to be a warrior, and the things that you have gone through in your life have led you to this point. I am the Jiminy cricket on your shoulder telling you that you were made for more.

You can choose to believe that, or you can continue down the path you are on, but ultimately only one leads to who you really are.

When David was on the run from Saul, many other men came to join him. These men had been in trouble, and they were seen as the worst type of men. They had money issues, relationship issues, trust issues, some of them had been slaves or fugitives, but they all had one thing in common…they weren’t perfect. They were flawed and broken. However, they saw in David the same things that they saw in themselves, but David realized that he could lead them to be mighty warriors.

In fact, David had 30 men that he most closely associated with, and inside that, there were 3 of the mightiest warriors that had reserved a unique place next to David. We can learn something from this.

The 3 mighty Warriors were:

  • Josheb-Basshebeth - He was chief of the Three; he raised his spear against eight hundred men, whom he killed in one encounter.

  • Eleazar - He was with David when they taunted the Philistines gathered at Pas Dammim for battle. Then the Israelites retreated, but Eleazar stood his ground and struck down the Philistines till his hand grew tired and froze to the sword.

  • Shammah - When the Philistines banded together at a place where there was a field full of lentils, Israel’s troops fled from them But Shammah took his stand in the middle of the field. He defended it and struck the Philistines down.

Then there was another man who was not part of the 3 but was a man of great honor and courage:

  • Benaiah - A valiant fighter from Kabzeel. He struck down Moab’s two mightiest warriors. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion.  And he struck down a huge Egyptian. Although the Egyptian had a spear in his hand, Benaiah went against him with a club. He snatched the spear from the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with his own spear.  Such were the exploits of Benaiah, he too was as famous as the three mighty warriors. He was held in greater honor than any of the Thirty, but he was not included among the Three. And David put him in charge of his bodyguard.

How to become a warrior: Start with what you have

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So, why did I bring up all those stories of warriors?

One, to inform you that these were regular men, who took a stand for something, they stopped running and faced up to their fears, and took ownership of who they were.

The three might warriors, all have something significant that they did:

  • Josheb-Basshebeth - He raised his spear

  • Eleazar - Stood his ground

  • Shammah - Took his stand

They embraced who they were, and stopped running. They finally said enough to their own fears, disappointments, and past demons. They faced up to reality and stood their ground when it mattered most.

They weren’t anything spectacular until that moment when an opportunity presented itself for them to make a choice that they had been presented with time and time again, but this time it was different.

Instead of retreating into passivity, blaming others, running from their problems, or living in fear, they turned the tides. They made a mental shift from, “I’m afraid of who I am, and I believe what others have defined me as”… to … “I know who I was made to be, and I will let this moment define me. I am a warrior, because that’s who I was made to be.”

There are 4 core concepts that need to be established:

  • Take Ownership of your life - Stop Running, Blaming, and hiding

  • Warriors Take a Stand - Define your code, or “Stand” - Write it out, then live by it.

    • You can adopt the 360 Man Project Rules if you want. I have this banner hanging in my garage so I can look at it when I am training.

  • Warriors are never finished - No matter how bleak a situation, or how much they think they know, there is no “arrival point”… except death.

  • Warriors define their own life - Don’t pursue anything that is useless, create goals, and work towards achieving them, no matter what anyone else thinks, says or does.

Don’t let the world tell you who you are, and don’t let other people or circumstances define who you are. Instead, step into the man you were made to be.


Man Jumping photo by Derek Owens on Unsplash

Warrior photo by Henry Hustava on Unsplash